I Did It Again

I went on vacation and lost weight!  Again!!!  Who does that?!?!?  People who have sleeves do :-)  We had a wonderful vacation.  The best one by far.  Being 57.5 lbs lighter makes vacation better.  We went to Denver to visit my sister and brother-in-law and had a blast.  Brooks & I got to sneak away one night and drive to Estes Park to spend the night while my sis and bro in law watched the girls.  We had so much fun!  On top of spending the night in Estes Park we shopped, went to a Rockies game and ate some really good food.  All while losing 3.5 lbs.  The other really great thing is that we took some really good family pictures.  Pictures I wasn't embarrassed to be in.  You never really know how much weight you've lost until you see yourself in pictures.  I was pleasantly surprised by what I saw.  Thought I'd share just a few :-)

Busy Summer and NSV's

It has been a very busy summer and I guess my blogs are what suffers the most.  I have been on the go so much.  My girls and I took a trip to my parents, then we all went to my in-laws and next the big trip to my sisters.  I also painted my dining room and 1/2 bath.  And on top of all that I have had all my other usual stuff.  Needless to say there hasn't been much time to blog.

I do have a few NSV's to share though: 

I lost a total of 5 lbs during both of my trips (2 at my parents and 3 at my in-laws).  I have never in my life gone on a trip and actually lost weight!  I was in a very frustrating stall when I left for my 1st trip so I didn't have any expectations of losing weight, especially while visiting my mom and dad.  My mom cooks very fairly healthy, but when I visit my hometown I am always drawn to visit all of my favorite restaraunts (Pampa does have some relaly good places to eat).  But another NSV was not visiting those places and gorging myself on really tasty, but bad for me food :-)  And my reward a 2 lb loss.

While at my in-laws, I not only lost 3 lbs, but I stayed away from the brownies, pie and chocolate!!!!  That in itself is a minor-modern day miracle. We had some really good food and I did have some chips and dip but I guess it didn't matter because when I stepped on the scales on Tuesday morning I had lost 3 lbs.  I weighed myself Friday morning before we left so I would know if I gained or lost so I knew what I weighed before I left.   (I weigh myself everyday.)

We were invited to go swimming Sunday evening and I actually swam.  I had a really old swimsuit and a brand new swim skirt that I had never worn.  So I threw those on, unsure if I would go through with it but wanted to be prepared just in case I got a wild hair.  All the way there I had serious swimsuit anxiety and almost chickened out.  I am really happy with my top half, but my bottom half (i.e. my thighs) need a lot of work.  But I decided why not? If I wait until I look perfect I will never step foot in a swimming pool again.  So I did it.  And I had a lot of fun.  I got to swim with my girls, one of my goals!!!  Because I enjoyed swimming so much I decided I would go buy myself a new swim top to go with my swim skirt to wear on vacation.  Yes, I actually bought myself a new swimsuit.  Another modern-day miracle :-)

The biggest NSV of all - I have been able to keep up with all my busyness.  Before I would've been soooo tired and not be able to do 1/2 the stuff I have been able to do.  I am tired but I think it's a normal tired.  A"I have been extremely busy, therefore I am tired" kind of tired.  I have been sleeping very well since surgery.  I have a lot of energy during the day but when it's time for bed get me there quickly.

I probably have a few more to share but I must go for now.  Have a wonderful week!!!!

PS - Still not happy with my blog layout so next time you visit there may another new one. 

Adorable Blog Award

The girls and I packed up and went to my parents last week.  My parents do not have internet, or a computer for that matter, so needless to say I didn't check my blog or any other blogs that I follow.  When I got home and checked up on everyone's blogs I found a great surprise.  Sheila at This One Body nominated me for The Adorable Blog Award.  So very sweet!  Please check out her blog.  She is doing wonderful things with her sleeve and I don't even know her but feel like I have for years.  Thanks a million Sheila :-)

There are a few rules that come with this award.

• Thank your nominator and link back to their blog.  Please see above for that ~ Oh and thanks again Sheila!!!
• Tell us ten things about yourself
• Nominate your fellow bloggers
• Contact them to ensure they know they have won

#1 ~ Ten things about me:

1. I am an HGTV junkie.  In fact right now as I type this I am listening/watching HGTV.  My dream job is to be an interior designer.  My husband rolls his eyes everytime I make mention of re-decorating something.  He finds re-decorating unnecessary.  If it were up to him we would have all white walls with nothing on them.  Making things look pretty is my passion :-) My latest project ~ My dining room.  And yes when I told my husband he rolled his eyes and asked why I needed to do it.
2. I took dance lessons for 16 yrs.  It was my entire childhood &  I miss it so much even in my ripe old age of 33.
3. If I ever won the lottery I would treat myself to Starbucks every single day (skinny lattes of course) and a massage a couple times a week.  Sounds pretty simple but you have to be quite wealthy to afford Sbux these days.  Of course there are a few other things I would do like buy my parents a new house, give large sums of money to our immediate families and our church and buy myself a new wardrobe :-) Oh and hire someone to do my laundry.
4. In addition to being an interior designer I would also love to be a writer.  I love to write.  I guess that's why I like to blog so much.  I am not a speaker.  Standing up in front of large crowds, or even a couple of people, frightens me.  I feel like I can communicate so much better with my written words.  Maybe I could write a book on interior designing???
5. I DO NOT like to fly.  I guess that makes getting to Hawaii much harder.
6. My last meal would have to be steak, potatoes, grilled corn on the cob and a cookie monster.  Now I would only be able to eat 1/4 of it, but I would still enjoy it.
7. I read the entire Bible in 90 days.  My husband and I are on church staff and the entire staff read the Bible in 90 days together.  I am not going to lie, it was very, very tough.  We were literally reading all the time.  But I am so glad I did it!
8. I have the sweetest, most beautiful girls in the whole wide world.  I know every mom thinks that, but I really do.  They are my joy and my life.  They keep me on my toes and make me smile everyday.
9. I married my high school sweetheart and the most wonderfully amazing man on the planet.  He is slightly younger than me (1 1/2 yrs) and he never lets me forget it.  We just celebrated our 10th anniversary and I can't wait to celebrate 50 more.
10. I love the Lord with all my heart.  My faith is what gets me up in the morning, keeps me going throughout the day and gives me the peace I need to sleep at night.  It's the single most important thing in my life.  Without it I don't know where I'd be.

#2 ~ My nomination:  I would like to nominate Sam at http://samswlsjourney.blogspot.com/ but I can't leave her a comment (blogger fail) and I don't have any other way to contact her.  Could I ask someone who may have a way to contact her to let her know I nominated her and then let me know if you did??? I have tried repeatedly to leave her comments but blogger continues to not let me.  I really enjoy reading her blog and wish I could let her know.

Great Testimony

What an amazing weight loss testimony! I was very moved by her story and wanted to share it with all of you. Have a great weekend :-)

Home - I Am Second

Pardon The Mess

Please pardon the mess as I work on redesigning my blog.  I like to change things up every once in awhile and I felt it was time for a change.  Check back soon for a new design!

Recipe ~ Chicken Tortilla Soup

It may not exactly be soup weather, but if you are like me you could eat soup year 'round.  I made this recipe up quite some time ago and it is one of our faves.  It's full of protein and very little calories, unless you top it with a lot of cheese and tortilla chips ;-)  Anyhoo, I made this last night before the Mavs game and I think it brought them good luck (hehe).  Enjoy!!!

Chicken Tortilla Soup

1 pkg of chicken, boiled and shreaded
2 cans of fire roasted, diced tomatoes
1 can of green chilis
1-2 cans of black beans, depending on how much beans you want
1 carton of chicken broth
1 onion, diced
1 green bell pepper
1 envelope Ranch dressing mix
cilantro, chopped and to taste
1 tbsp of cummin, or to taste
Salt, pepper, garlic, paprika, chili powder to taste

Cook chicken and shread. Saute onion and peppers until transluscent. Bring remaining ingredients to a boil and simmer for 30-45 mins.

Tips ~ You may also use 2 cans of chicken or a rotiserre chicken from your grocery store. You may omit onions or peppers if you do not like them. Corn is also good in it, but Brooks doesn't like corn so I never put it in.

What Will I Wear Now???

Well, my closet pity party is over.  Friday morning, for some reason, I decided I should try on everything in my closet and get rid of anything that doesn't fit anymore. Honestly I wanted to get rid of anything that stirred up all the bad emotions.  I had just done this like a month ago so I wasn't really expecting to have much of anything else to get rid of.  I just thought I might have a few more to toss in the pile.  As I tried on shirt after shirt I was amazed at how big everything was. I truly couldn't believe that 90% of the clothes in my closet were TOO BIG!!!  With the exception of a couple of shirts, I think I tossed all my X-Large shirts, my size 14 pants (a very generous size 14), all of my sweaters and most of my knit tops.  I did, however, hold onto my very favorite pair of pants that I always wore pre-surgery.  These serve as a reminder of how far I've come.  If I get brave enough I will take a picture of my wearing them and post it here someday. I love the feeling of getting rid of 90% of my clothes and with that 90% I get to also toss out the physical & emotional baggage that comes with being overweight.

I couldn't figure out what to do with all these clothes.  I tried to re-sale the really nice ones, but the resale shop didn't want them (frown-frown) and I didn't want to donate them to just any charity . I wanted someone who really could use them get them.  I just couldn't figure out what to do with them.  And then I remembered that our church is having a clothing drive for a local women's shelter in August.  I was so overjoyed to be able to donate my clothes to such a worthwhile cause.  I look at that pile of clothes and think what a waste of money because more than 1/2 of that pile I probably wore one, maybe two times.  And some of it I never wore.  But knowing that someone who may not have anything will be getting them brightens my day and erases all the bad feelings tied to those clothes.

Now for the fun part ~ Shopping for smaller clothes.  I just can't bring myself to spend a whole lot on clothes until I am closer to goal, but I will have to buy a few things.  I will also have to buy new jeans sooner than later, but I am very hesitant as trying on jeans has always been a source of great frustration so I am putting that off as long as I possibly can.

I Heart My New Sleeve

Now that I have a sleeve I love....

Not beating myself up at the end of the day because I made poor food choices
Not waking up every Monday morning saying today is the day I start my "fad" diet only to end the day in utter disappointment
Laying on the couch, watching TV at the end of the day and not feeling guilty because I ate too much and did too little
Walking into my closet and not feeling despair because I haven't gotten back into my "skinny clothes" yet
Buying really cute jammies
Not dragging myself out of bed because I am so tired all the time
Wearing a regular t-shirt to support The Mavs (GO MAVS!)
Slipping on my jeans and not having to use the belly band
My baggy pants
Watching weight loss shows and thinking I can do that too
The fact that I actually look forward to seeing people I haven't seen in awhile (I don't have to be embarrassed about my weight)
Seeing numbers on the scale that I gave up ever seeing again
And most importantly knowing that this is just the beginning.....

Onederland ~ What A Glorious Feeling

Well I finally made it to Onderland!!! I haven't been here in almost 5 years. My "one day" is finally TODAY. If you would've asked me 3 months ago if I ever thought I would be back here again, I would've said no way. I had totally lost hope of ever seeing the scales under 200 again. Now knowing that I will only continue to go further down the scales is exhilerating!!! The dress I had planned on rewarding myself with when I got here was gone, so I need to either try another Target or come up with another reward. I love having this problem! Trying to decide what to reward myself with after a major weight loss. What a great problem to have!!!

I Have A Closet Full of Clothes

If you take a look at my closet you may think "Gee, she sure has a lot of clothes." When I take a look at my closet I think "Gee, I need a new wardrobe." I have a closet full of clothes that I held onto because I was very stubborn and wouldn't get rid of them. I would constantly tell myself that one day I would get back into these clothes. A few years later I still hadn't been able to wear then. Now, after WLS, I can wear most, if not all of them, and I don't even want to look at them.

At first I was so excited at the thought of getting a "whole new wardrobe" because I was going to be able to wear clothes that I hadn't worn in so long. But I look at those clothes and it takes me back to a time of great despair. It's so discouraging to walk in your closet and have so many clothes that you constantly tell yourself "one day" and never get there. It's so embarrassing to have to wear the same 4-5 shirts day after day because nothing else fits and you are too stubborn to buy bigger ones. Those clothes bring back a lot of old emotions, emotions I don't care to re-visit. I still don't have a lot of clothes. But knowing that it's because they are too big is so comforting!!!

Recipe ~ Oven Roasted Vegetables

I fixed these the other night and was actually more excited about them then the few bites of steak I was going to have. So strange!!!

1 Onion
1 Bell Pepper (any color)
1 Zuchini
1 Squash
1 pkg fresh mushrooms
2 potatoes
Seasonings to taste

Preheat oven to 450 degrees. Slice all veggies, relatively the same size. Mix seasonings (I like the Savory Herb and Garlic Lipton Soup Mix or salt, pepper, garlic, rosemary and crushed red pepper) with 1/4 - 1/3 cup Extra Virgin Olive Oil. Put veggies in a large mixing bowl and drizzle oil mixture over veggies and toss to coat. Scatter veggies in a baking pan in a single layer. Bake for 25-30 min, depending on how done you like them. We like brown edges! So very yummy!!!

Food For Thought

Since surgery I have noticed how my thoughts on food have changed. I had really prayed they would, but they have changed in a different way than I thought they would. I certainly pay a lot more attention to what I am putting in my mouth and how much of it I am putting in my mouth than I used to. I am also realizing, or finally accepting, just how bad some of the foods I was eating really are. My total view on food is changing very rapidly and I love it!!!

At the same time I am experiencing a lot of food confusion. If you happen to do a lot of research on different topics, like me, you will see that there are soooooo many differing opinions on nutirition and healthy eating. It can get a little overwhelming sometimes. I've been thinking a lot about what I've researched a have come up with some of my own thoughts.

Over the next few weeks I would love to share my thoughts with you. I hope to post a new topic every few days. Please remember these are my opinions. I am not a doctor or nutirtionist. There is nothing scientific about my opionions. They are just opinions. Please check back often as I hope to have new topics in my quest to figure out all of this food stuff:-)

Getting Rid Of It All

As of this morning I can't report a loss :-( But I won't report a gain either :-) My body is in another stall, due to circumstances I can't control. Enough said about that....

Yesterday I spent most of the day getting rid of clutter. I can't stand all the stuff!!! I guess with a 40lb weight loss comes the need toss out the junk in every area of my life, not just the weight. I was able to pull out about 30 or so tops and about 5 pair of pants from my closet and drawers that were way too big. Boy howdy did that feel so good!!! But the greatest thing was that I cleaned and cleaned most of the day and had the energy to do it! I was very tired at the end of the day, but I couldn't believe how I kept going and going. It was truly amazing to me. When you have spent day after day with 40 extra pounds strapped to you it starts to take a toll on you. You just can't do the things that you know you need to do. I can't wait to see how it feels with another 40 lbs gone!!!

Today I continue my quest to de-clutter my life. I have decided to just take it room by room and day by day. Maybe I will come up with enough stuff to have a garage sale in the fall, when it cools off.

BTW - Did any of you watch Extreme Makeover - Weight Loss Edition? I did and was so inspired by it! That will be my new summer show, along with So You Think You Can Dance :-)

Denial

Denial is hard to deny these days. For so long I lived in a constant state of denial. I never saw myself as "morbidly obese", as the BMI chart categorized me (BMI charts (rolling my eyes)). I mean I knew I needed to lose some weight but never realized just how much, until now.

Now that I have lost 40 lbs I look back and see how much I was in denial. It really makes me sad that I didn't take responsibility sooner. I so wish I would've made this decision much earlier in life, but I keep reminding myself it's all in God's timing :-)

I can't wait to see this journey on the other side and no longer have my weight as a constant companion.....

40 Lbs Gone ~ Forever

This morning I hit the 40lbs gone milestone!!! After having so many ups and downs last week I really can't believe I made it. I've lost 4 lbs since Monday. So exciting!!! I haven't weighed this in alomost 5 years!

I've been thinking about what losing 40lbs must feel like to my body. It's like carrying around 4 10lb bags of potatoes. No wonder I felt so bad all the time. Of course it's distributed differently but 40lbs is 40lbs no matter how you distribute it. Crazy to think I had been carrying around 4 bags of potatoes all that time.

I am not sure what to reward myself with today. It won't be a big reward, as I have reserved those for 50lbs and when I reach my ultimate goal. But I think I deserve a little something today. Any suggestions?

Contentment

I finally finished reading Reshaping It All! What a great book!!! If you grew up in the 80's and 90's you may be familiar with Candace Cameron Bure. She was DJ Tanner on Full House. She has written a book talking about her weight struggles and how she overcame them spiritually and physically. It's always so exciting to hear stories from actors and actresses about the work God has done in their lives. Something you don't get to hear from Hollywood very often.

Throughout the entire book she talks about her struggles with food, binging and bulimia and how with God's strength and grace she overcame that. Now she uses her testimony to speak to thousands of people everywhere. I could relate to so much of what she talked about. How she used food as a comfort from a very young age and that her life revolved around food for many years.

There was something in particular that hit home with me. She wrote a whole chapter on contentment. Contentment is not necessarily a word I jump for joy about when I hear it. We are supposed to be content in whatever state we are in, the Bible instructs us on that. She spun contentment, or lack thereof, in a whole new way that I had never even once thought about. Being content with what God has given us, husband, children, house, car, clothes, stuff, etc.... is a no-brainer. But being content with eating right and living a healthy lifestyle is not something I ever thought of in terms of being content.

Can you name the #1 reason most people won't eat healthy? I bet if they took a poll the answer would be because it doesn't taste good (although many healthy foods are indeed quite good). Candace writes in her book "But I think we all have to come to terms with the fact that first and foremost, food is fuel for our bodies. Let's get the entertainment aspect of it out of our heads for a minute and realize that it doesn't have to be a 24-7 buffet." She goes on to write "A content person will be just as happy to eat an entree in a restaurant as she will a salad on the go." That really hit home with me.

Let me just say that I am not at all against eating out, I still love eating out, but I don't want to find my contentment in it. There have been times when I wasn't content with eating leftovers or a sandwich so I ran to the nearest drive-thru because it was convenient and I felt like I was getting something special by eating out. Many times I have been discontent with how my day was going so I drove myself to Sonic to get a Dr. Pepper because it has been "one of those days" and I "needed" it. There have been times when I wanted to eat out because all our friends were eating out and I didn't want to be left out. I wasn't content with going home and having a quiet evening with my family. And when I did eat out I wasn't content with ordering a salad or a smaller portion. I felt the need to order greasy, fried stuff, because it was a "treat" afterall.

Before WLS food was a treat, it was entertainment and on some days, it was my world. Instead of finding contentment in God, I ran to food. I wasn't content with who I was in Him, I wasn't content with what I was doing or what was going on. No matter how bad I thought things were, food always made me happy. I still stuggle with head hunger and there are some days that I am not content with eating cottage cheese and refried beans. But I can say about 80% of the time I eat because I need the protein or I am feeling a little weak, not because I need comfort.

It will always be an on-going struggle with me, but I pray and believe that it will get easier and easier. Candace writes, "With a bit of practice and good attitude, contentment is something we can all train ourselves to accept. Approaching weight loss with a sense of contentment will bring you a lot further than a sense of entitlement ever will." So very true! Contentment is vital in every area of life and now I see that it is vital in living a healthy life.

PS ~ I highly recommend reading Reshaping It All if you have ever struggled with food issues. It will speak to you in many ways!

Ups & Downs

This week has been so crazy!!! Me & my husband celebrated our 10th anniversary, my daughter graduated pre-school and my parents were here to celebrate with us. I really haven't had much time to blog anything this week. Tuesday morning I had a post all typed and out and ready and I hit publish post and it disappeared :-( I didn't have time to go back and re-type or even investigate what happened, so I gave up.

Throughout this week I have had so many up and downs on the scale. It's been very weird! When I get on the scale and there is a 1lb gain it stirs up a lot of emotions. I get this notion that the weight loss is over and I am going to gain it all back. I know that's not true, but when you live in that state for so long it's hard to break away from those thoughts.

I know my weight loss is not over and I know because of my hectic schedule this week I probably didn't get enough protein or water, as hard as I tried, and that probably contributed to water retention. This week my focus will be on water and protein. I really don't feel like I got off track eating wise. I still can't eat very much at a time, but I eat 5-6 times a day. People say that's really the best way to eat, several small meals throughout the day. It's does get a little frustrating when you want to eat more of your meal and can't but I wouldn't trade it for anything.

As of yesterday I have lost 37.5lbs. I am counting yesterdays because it was the lowest ;-) Hopefully I will be able to report that the scale has leveled off and on the downward spiral again on the next post. I also hope to post some more recipes very soon too!

PS ~ Go Mavs!!! I was able to go buy myself a Dallas Mavericks shirt. I didn't have a Mavs shirt because I could never find one that fit me well. I would have to get an X-large to fit over my hips and it would fall to my knees and elbows because it was too long, but I couldn't get a smaller size because it wouldn't fit everywhere else. Thursday I went to Academy and bought a women's fit large (not XL) and it fit almost perfect. It was actually a little big in the waist area, but fit perfect everywhere else. Now I can support my team with a t-shirt. Silly I know, but I am thinking I am now going to be able to buy a t-shirt to support all my teams now. So exciting!!!!!

Recipe ~ Turkey Chilli

I love chilli!!! I could eat chili once or twice a week, except for the fact that Brooks wouldn't. I don't know what it is about chilli that I like??? Maybe the spices??? I don't know but I hope you enjoy my healthy chili!

Turkey Chili

1 lb ground turkey
1 onion
1 can diced tomatoes
1 small can tomato sauce
2 cans of beans, any variety you like
3-4 tbsp chilli powder (I like it pretty spicy)
1-2 tsp of cummin
salt, pepper, garlic, paprika to taste
1 cup of water, plus add more until you get the consistency you like

Brown turkey and onions until turkey is cooked through and onion tender. Add all of you spices and one cup of water. Simmer until water evaporates (this makes the meat hold the seasonings and taste more flavorful). Add the rest of the ingredients and simmer 30 min. Add more water if you like a thinner chilli. And If you like it thicker simmer longer :-) Add a sprinkling of cheese and voila, yummy chilli.

Week 6 Has Come and Gone

Let me start by saying how wonderful the Flavour Sisterhhod conference was. What an unbelievable group of ladies that poured into the lives of woman from every background. Simply amazing!

This was my first outing with people who didn't know about my surgery. Most everyone did but there were a few that didn't. We ate most meals out so I wasn't sure if anyone would notice that ate so little or if I could hide the fact that I could only eat like 5 bites of whatever I was eating. My friend Tiffany agreed to split breakfast and lunch with me and dinner was easy because everyone just ate chips, salsa, queso and guacamole. I ordered one tamale, as I didn't know how just chips would settle, and ate about 3/4 of it and about 3 chips. The other times we met at Starbucks and I ordered coffee. I don't think anyone noticed how little I ate or they just didn't say anything. This weekend was a non-scale victory for me. Before surgery I would have probably not wanted to split anything with anyone, I would have gorged myself on chips and queso, drank sodas and bought sweet treats while I was shopping. I didn't. And you know what I didn't really miss them at all. That made me very happy!!!!

Last Thursday I went to the Dr. for a checkup and they cleared me to workout, yeah and nay ;-) and said they didn't want to see me until September. They also said my weightloss is ahead of schedule :-) I saw the PA and she told me to expect to lose 10lbs a month from here on out. I am honestly hoping for a little more than that, but hey I will definately take 10lbs a month.

I finally reached my 30lbs lost Thursday and managed to lose 2 more lbs. Super duper happy!!! I should never settle on a reward until I get there because I have changed my mind so many times. While I was at the conference I bought myself a 30lbs lost rewards. It was not what I thought it would be. They were selling Flavour cookbooks and the proceeds went towards their many missions and since I am such a sucker for cookbooks I bought one. This is no ordinary cookbook though. It's like a coffee table book with many delicious recipes and beautiful pictures scattered throughout. I had to have one. They were a little expensive so I decided since I really wanted one I would make this my reward.

This week I plan on stepping up my workouts. So many mixed feelings about that! Exercising has never been something I liked, but my energy is up and I am seeing results so it makes me want to step it up a little bit. Wish me luck as I tackle working out.

Almost To My Goal

I'm half a pound away from my first goal! It's exciting and frustrating at the same time. So close but half a pound away. I can finally start regular foods today, but I am not sure how ready I am for that. It will take some time, I am sure, to get used to eating regular food again. Still no bread, rice or noodles, as it expands and will expand my stomach and make me miserable. I really don't miss it, so I am not sure when or if I will go back to eating any of that stuff. It's almost impossible to say never again, but the longer I stay away the easier it gets. I really don't want to start a carb crazy binge so staying away is the best thing for me right now.

People are really starting to notice and my clothes fit better and better everyday. Which makes everything worth it. The most important thing though is I already am feeling better and better. My energy is definately up, although once my head hits the pillow at night I am out. I went swimming for the first time in so very long. We had baptisms at church and I took the plunge and went for it. It was an easy setting because almost everyone was wearing a t-shirt and shorts over their swimsuits so I didn't feel so out of place wearing mine. I really enjoyed it and really felt like I was doing something that my kids had been wanting me to do for so long. Things are going swimmingly (pun intended) ;-)

I am attending a ladies conference with some girls from church this Thursday, Friday and Saturday. I am really looking forward to it! I anticipate great things on the other side of it. So I will probably be absent the rest of the week! Enjoy your day!

Happy Surgeversary!

I can't believe it has been one month since my surgery! I didn't meet my 30 day goal but I am within 2 lbs. I am very happy with that :-) I seem to have hit a stall as I have been the same weight since Monday. I read on a few different message boards that 95% of people experience a stall around weeks 3, 4 & 5. Once they break it, they continue to lose a lot of weight. Your body just has to re-adjust to eating soft foods from liquids and adjust to life with only 25% of it's stomach. I am just eagerly awaiting the break!!!

I celebrated my surgeversary with a bowl at Chipotle. I got a vegetarian bowl with no rice and extra beans. If you get vegetarian they give you guacamole so that was totally worth skipping the meat. I didn't think the meat would go down very well right now anyway. I also figured I could eat on my bowl for a few days. And boy was I right. It may take a week to finish it. I probably won't eat on it for a week but there is enough there to last that long. I just needed something other than tuna, cottage cheese, chicken salad or an egg. It tasted so good. We will see how well it progresses.

Learning To Like Cottage Cheese

I'll get to the loss first this time. I am down another 2.5lbs!!! Yesterday it was 3lbs but since today is my weigh in day I have to count 2.5. It gets frustrating sometimes because it flutuates so much. I know I shouldn't weigh everyday but right now it's really hard not to. I am coming up on my one-month surgeversary so I have 3days to lose 2 lbs. Not sure if I will meet my goal but I am really happy about where I am.

Yesterday at church I had a couple of people ask me if I was losing weight. So people are starting to notice :-) I was able to button my jeans without the aid of the belly band and they didn't even feel tight. I couldn't do that a week ago. We've tried to take some family walks, but with the weather and wind it's been a little tough. We got three in last week which is a good start.

Since I have to have so much protein I am learning to like some foods I wasn't all that sure I could ever like. Cottage cheese for instance. Never liked it before but after I found out it has 14 grams per 1/2 cup it suddenly tastes really good. I usually eat it twice a day. Eggs are something else I have learned to like. Not a big fan before but now I have to be. I also eat a lot of beans, chicken salad and tuna salad. It's almost like you don't want to waste any bites on anything that isn't pure protein because you have to have so much.

My love for feta cheese has reappeared too. I used to eat it a lot and haven't had any in a long time. I couldn't stay out of it. It's small little crumbles so it's really easy to eat. I've been experimenting with some mediteranian salads with feta, olives, tomatoes and either tuna or cottage cheese and mediteranian dressing. It's pretty good! You have to jazz things up a bit to keep from getting bored.

I am getting really worried about losing my hair. That is a side effect from losing weight so fast and I just don't have much to spare. That is why I am trying to eat so much protein, taking biotin and multi-vitamins. Please pray for me! I know it seems like a vain thing to ask for, especially since I chose to have this surgery and I am losing wieght just like I wanted to, but I just can't spare much hair. I really appreciate any prayers!

PS - I tried a Starbucks skinny hazelnut latte the other day. And really enjoyed it. I was only able to drink 1/2 of a tall so I stuck it in the fridge and reheated it the next day. Didn't finish it the next day but now I know if I get a latte I can get two servings out of one. That's kind of exciting. It doesn't make me feel as guilty ordering one.

Hope you all have a very blessed day!

Finally, Soft Foods

Today I finally got to eat some soft foods. I had my heart set on Pintos and Cheese from Taco Bell, so that's where I went. While I was there I also ordered an individual mashed potatoes and gravy, it's also a KFC, for later. I decided I would eat 1/2 pintos and cheese and half mashed potatoes because the smell of the grave was unbelievable!

I got home and took the first bite of the pintos and cheese. All that anticipation wrapped up in one bite. It tasted pretty good but hurt going down and it didn't take long until I was full. I was a little disappointed it didn't taste better, but I guess my taste buds have to re-develop after a month off from food. I am not sure what's on the menu for tonight but looking forward to my next try of food.

I keep going back and forth on the whole coffee thing. I keep thinking I am going to like it but the only coffee I have liked so far is McDonalds. So I think I have settled on a new 50lbs lost reward until I am enjoying coffee a little more. I have been wanting to get a really nice grill pan that you use on your stove-top to grill things indoors. I decided yesterday that would be my reward. Since I will be cooking healthier it will make it a lot easier than waiting for Brooks to get home to start grilling stuff. I found a really nice one for a great deal on Amazon.com. I really want a Keurig I guess it will be best if I wait until I am at least liking coffee a better. Maybe that's what I will ask Santa Claus for (hint, hint).

I always wait until the end of the post to share the really good news but I am down 26.5lbs. I just may meet my goal of losing it before my one-month surgeversary next Thursday. I really wanted to meet it before Easter so I could get my pedi before Easter service, but my original goal was at one month so I will be very happy either way! I've been doing some research on Quinoa and Polenta and found out that I can have both of those. So I will now be doing some recipe research on both to find new ways of fixing them and I hope to share some of those recipes soon.

Coffee

Well I tired coffee again this morning. I stopped at McD's to get Shelby a sausage McMuffin and I thought I would try it again. I ordered a small coffee with two creams and a splenda and it was really, really good. I should've asked for decaf because now I am a little shakey but other than that I am good.

I was thinking and praying about it this morning and thought maybe a Keurig would be a good really thing afterall. Since it only brews one cup at a time I will be a lot less tempted to drink anymore than that. Plus it takes me forever to even drink one cup so that's all I will want anyway. In fact I didn't even finish the small cup I ordered this morning.

So I guess my 50lbs lost Keurig reward is back on :-)

Oh and by the way Shelby slept all night last night. Prayers were answered in a mighty way!!!!

Bad Day

I had a really bad day today :-( My kids have mis-behaved for 3 days now, Shelby is still not sleeping good, I haven't had food in four weeks and I am beyond tired. I finally broke down and cried and poor Shelby got so worried. She kept saying "Sowwie Mama". And then she would said "Ok?" She even ran into the office, where Ally was, and started grunting and pointing my way and saying mama to Ally. I felt really bad about crying after that. She's very senitive.

I tried coffee for the first time tonight. I went and got a Skinny Latte at Starbucks because I was just so very sick of the regular shakes I was drinking. I took small sips on the way home and it just didn't really even taste very good. Then when I got home I put a scoop of my un-flavored protein powder in it to add some more protein. Don't ever do that!!!! ICK, ICK, ICK. Ruined my latte :-( Like I said it really didn't even taste good anyway.

I've kind of had mixed feelings about coffee. I go back and forth on whether or not to start drinking it again. I know that sounds really weird but before I started my liquid fast I was drinking coffee like it was going out of style. I had almost become dependent on it. It made my day better and made me feel a little more energetic. I really don't want to become dependent on it again. In some ways I am an all or nothing gal and drinking coffee may be a bad thing to do. I don't know??? I am going to continue to pray about it see where it goes. I love coffee but just want to love it in moderation and I am not sure if I am there yet. Also I could save mega bucks by not visiting Starbucks so often. I guess I may need to re-think my 50lbs lost reward??? (see previous post)

I am so hopeful that I have a better day tomorrow and that Shelby Grace will start sleeping again. I can't make it on so little sleep when I am already weak from surgery and no food. I would appreciate your prayers :-)

2 Weeks Down

It's been two weeks since I had my surgery. My mom went home yesterday :-( She was so much help. She took care of the girlies, cooked dinner for everyone, made sure I had soup and my shakes and kept up the dishes and the laundry. I know she probably wore herself plum out, but I never would've made it without her. And thanks to Marmie and Papa for taking the girls the first week. That was soooo much help to all of us!

Since she left all of those things were left up to me. I didn't get a whole lot done yesterday, but what I did get done just wore me out. I was very, very tired by the end of the day. I guess my strength will have to build back up.

I haven't had a bite to eat in four weeks now and it's starting to really get to me. We had a cookout at church Sunday and that was terribly painful. I left early because I just couldn't take the smell anymore. Just 7 more days and I can start soft foods. I am excited and nervous at the same time. Retraining myself will be very hard I think. Teaching myself to take much smaller bites and to quit when I am full will be major work. I think once I am eating some regular foods I will gain more strength. I am sooooo sick of protein shakes so I am looking forward to getting some protein from my food,

Now for the really great news! I made you wait until the end ;-) I have now lost 22.5 lbs!!!!!! 7.5 lbs away from my first goal of 30 lbs. I have decided to reward myself with a deluxe pedicure for the first 30 lbs. And if I can get Brooks to agree I will reward myself with a Keurig coffemaker at 50 lbs and a spa day when I reach my full goal.

I am really trying to keep myself busy this week. I don't want food to be the only thing I think about as I wait to eat some soft foods next week.

10 Days Later

Hello Friends!

It's been awhile. I haven't much felt like sitting at the computer and blogging the last 10 days. I am still recovering from surgery, as I am sure you know. I have had some good days, some OK days and just a couple of not so good days. Overall I think I have done pretty well. When I weighed this morning I was 20 lbs down from the first day of my liquid fast. And 8 of those I lost twice. When I came home from the hospital I had gained 8 lbs. But I knew it was all water since they pumped an extra IV bag of fluid in me before I went home because I was dehydrated. Imagine that. No water in almost 36 hrs makes for some dehydration. The care I received at the hospital was unbelievable. They have the most amazing nurses there.

I am still on liguids and am very tired of protein shakes already! Since I am able to only drink little bits at a time we have to half each shake. Which means I am drinking four a day. They recommend 60 grams of protein a day and since I am still on liquids all of it has to come from shakes. A little less then 2 wks and I can start soft foods.

I am super excited where I am headed and what's on the horizon for me. Hopefully I will be updating more often the better I feel.

Inspiring

I really love this video. It's short and sweet and very inspirational. I plan on buying this book and reading while in the hospital and the days following. I will let you all know how it goes :-)

Lots Of Thoughts

I am so busy today! I have so much to get done before Sunday and here I am blogging. There are so many thoughts going through my mind right now. Most of which are very exciting :-) I know God's Hand is all over this because I am not really nervous about the surgery itself. Just what it will be like when I wake up and the day after. Not knowing I guess is what has me wondering.

I hope to sit down and journal my thoughts later today or tomorrow but I have to get busy doing what I need to do first.

BTW - I have lost a total of 8lbs so far :-)

Setting Goals

It occured to me yesterday that I probably should be setting some realistic goals. Like I want to lose this much my this time and I want to be into this outfit by this date. I hadn't really set many goals except that I want to be in the 150's and a size 8. The more I thought about the more I thought I should set small goals along the way to my ultimate goal.

So I got my calendar out last night and mapped out the rest of the entire year week by week and noted my surgeversary each month and then I began to pray that God would help me set attainable goals. I am letting Him lead me because under my own power I will probably set the bar pretty low so I won't be so disappointed if I don't make it. I don't want to set my standards low but I also want to be realistic.

A Liquid Fast Is NOT All That

It's almost been a week since I began my liquid diet. It's been a whole lot harder than I thought it would be. Especially during March Madness when every other commercial is about food. During this fast a lot of my food issues have surfaced and I have no choice but to face them head-on.

This morning as I was making my first shake of the day I thought to myself I might as well go back to bed. All I get to have today is liquid stuff. Really? My whole day revolves around what I get or don't get to eat? I guess I am starting to realize it did. I shouldn't want to go back to bed because I can't eat. I have two beautiful girls to enjoy, a house to clean and lots of things to do today. And food does not have to be the center of all of it!

It's really hard to admit & face that reality, but if this whole process is going to work for my life than it's necessary. It has to work!

The Day After The First Day

Yesterday I had my first full day of the liquid fast. I felt pretty yucky last night. Slept pretty good, without any kids in my bed! Woke up this morning and had lost 5lbs. Wow! 5lbs in one day.

I have resorted to drinking black coffee with a little Splenda. Coffee in the shakes was pretty terrible. I have also resorted to throwing down my shakes because I just can't stomach them. I tried jazzing them up, freezing them and sipping, but just couldn't finish them. So I guess I am doing protein shots now. Feeling a little weak now. I hope that subsides soon. I have a lot to do today!

I spent most of the afternoon yesterday watching another series of Youtube videos of a girl that has weight loss surgery and has documented the past 20 months. Very, very interesting. I gleened a lot from all that she said and will share a lot of what I learned along the way. Very eye opening!

That's all I have today! I hope you all have a wonderful day :-)

Liquid Fast

I attended my class yesterday. It was very informative and a little frightening. Brooks asked me when I got out if I was having second thoughts. I am in no way having second thoughts I just know a little more what to expect. Like I didn't know I would be having staples on the outside of my stomach for a week and I won't be able to drink water the entire day of the surgery.

I also began my liquid fast last night. I did find out some really good news at my class. I can put black coffee in my shakes. Yay, Yay! They told me it would taste just like a Frappucino. Well it doesn't taste like a Frap, but it does have a slight coffee taste and just enough pick me up. So I was super excited about that. Drank some plain chicken broth last night and rather enjoyed it. I can also have Crystal Light, SF popsicles, SF Jello, tea, black coffee and water. The broth has actually been my favorite thing so far. Weird I know!

This is going to be a little tougher than I was anticipating, but I know I can get through it with a lot of prayer and a little broth :-)

Needing Coffee

This morning I woke up a little off. I guess weaning myself off of coffee is going to be a little more of a challenge than I thought. I can have coffee on my liquid fast I just can't have creamer in it. What's the point of drinking it then? I may resort to liking black coffee when all is said and done.

Today I go to a class and receive my liquid fast stuff so I can start this evening. I have all kinds of thoughts swirling around my head right now. Trying to keep myself occupied as to not think too hard about it all.

Stuffing My Gord

We celebrated Ally's 5th birthday over the weekend. We had lots of family and friends here so of course we ate lots of good food and had lots of fun!

Brooks asked me the other night how I was going to handle not having food for awhile since I start my liquid fast tomorrow. And frankly I am ready. I don't really feel like I will be missing anything. Nothing is good right now. Even my favorite food pizza doesn't settle well and just really doesn't taste all that good. I did spend the weekend and today getting in the last little bit I could. I got a latte at Starbucks, had Chick fil a, had Twinkies and we are having tacos for dinner.

This will be longest two weeks for me. I am so very ready to take on my new challenges. I know it won't be easy, but well worth the effort.

Saying Goodbye To An Old Friend

Something I struggle desperately with is Dr. Pepper. It's just something that I love. I don't allow myself to have more than one a day, but one a day is far too much in my opinion. And sometimes that one is a large Sonic Dr. Pepper. Up until recently I had quit ordering a large and mostly got a small and sometimes a medium. But over the last week or so I have started ordering a large again.

As I was cleaning yesterday my thoughts ran circles around giving up Dr. Pepper and why I was drinking so much right now. Won't this sudden jump in consumption make it even harder to give up next wk? And then the thought came to me it's like when you know you won't see someone for a very long time or even possibly never again you spend as much time with them as you can. Not that Dr. Pepper is a person or anything but I feel like I have to say goodbye to that particular thing in my life and want to drink as much as I can before I bid adieu. Sounds silly I know. But that is how I have to treat it.

I love DP but know it can't be such a big part of my diet. I am not gonna say I will never ever drink one as long as I live again, but I am determined that it will become a very rarety for me to have one. It's just not good for me and it is a No-No after surgery. Will you pray for me as I struggle with giving this up?

My Farewell Tour

Next week I begin a 2 wk liquid diet leading up to my surgery. So I am currently on what I like to call my farewell tour. Meaning I am eating all my favorite foods before I begin my liquid diet and say goodbye to a lot of these foods forever, or at least a very long time. I think God is already preparing me because so many of my so-called favorite foods aren't even tasting good or not setteling well with me. With the exception of Dr. Pepper I am not sure if I will miss most of the junk. Of course I can say that now because I can have them, but I am really praying and believeing that God will take away those cravings and desires to eat those things that I know are bad for me. That is why I have decided to treat my liquid diet as a liquid fast. I am fasting all these things, praying and believing for great things to come out of all of this.

And So It Begins

Well, I am about to embark on what may be the most challenging journey of my life. As you all know I have made the very BIG decision to have weight loss surgery. I never, ever thought I would be one of those people who would make this choice. How did I get to this point in my life where I even needed to do this? I am really not all that certain, but it is what it is and I have made my decision.

So much prayer and thought have gone into this and I am certain of my choice. This is the best thing in the world for me right now, in so many ways. Ways I hope to share with you along the way. I have had so much support from my most wonderful husband, family and friends. I can't help but be excited where this will lead.

I decided that I would blog my way through this incredible journey. One I know won't be without it's difficult times. My brother in law suggested I get a journal to document my progress. I thought that was a wonderful idea, so this will be my journal. I hope you all will join me as I post my progress, my thoughts, my sturggles and my wins. I would also appreciate your prayers!

I love you all dearly and thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the support and encouragment I have already received!

On My Way.....

Kazia