Monday, April 2, 2012

One Year Check Up

Today I had my one year post op check up.  I almost cancelled because I am not having any issues with anything and didn't know what else they could tell me except continue small portions, stop before your full and exercise.  But when I got there they did an x-ray.  I am certainly glad I went because it was so encouraging to see my perfectly small tummy, still as small as it was after surgery.  The technician actually told me that it was the smallest one she had seen in a year.  Not really sure what that means, but it sounded good.  I left so encouraged and thankful that I went.

I have mentioned on here numerous times how scared of maintanence I am.  I don't want to gain anything back!  It's freightening really!  But as I was walking back to my car I began to pray that God would always help me to continue to eat the way I am eating now and give me strength not to eat more than enough.  I know that HE is the only reason I am where I am today and that I have been so successful in my journey so far.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

One Year Later

Today's the day!  My one-year surgeversary!!!  Wow, what a year it has been.  Actually, it doesn't even feel like it was a year ago that I had surgery.  I can't believe how fast it has flown by.  One year ago at this time I was anxiously sitting in the waiting room, ready to be called back for surgery.  And now 93 lbs lighter I can honestly I have never regretted it, not even for a moment!

Someone asked me just yesterday if I was happier since I lost weight.  I really had to think about that one.  My happiness should not be tied into my weight, but in so many ways it was.  I always had the joy of the Lord, but happiness and joy are two seperate things.  When I think back on the years of being so overweight and trying desperately, to no avail to lose it I get a very dark cloud over me.  I guess I didn't realize just how dark those years were until now.  Now that I am on the other side.  Don't get me wrong I had a lot of suuny times, but overall life for me was cloudy.

I am so very happy that I don't have to live that way anymore :-)  I feel like a new person.  God gave me a second chance at this life (literally, i was killing myself by the way I was living) and I am so very grateful.  I think I will spend sometime this day reading back on my old posts and reflecting my journey. In no way is my journey over.  In some ways it has just begun.  Now the hard part really starts, maintenance.  Sometimes I think about gaining weight and it scares me!!!  

I hope to post some relective things in the next little bit and maybe some new recipes I've been trying, thank you Pinterest :-),  and I will continue to blog because I need the accoutability to stay on track.  A great big hug and thanks to everyone who has made this journey possible.  I love each and every one of you with all my heart.  I hope you all have a very blessed day!!!!

Saturday, March 24, 2012

I Reached My Goal!!!!

Almost a year ago I was hopeful to say those words, but still uncertain I ever would.  But here I am shouting from the rooftops that I met my goal!!!!  Actually I met it about 22 days ago but I haven't taken the time to sit down and write about it. 

This coming Wednesday will be my one-year surgeversary.  I can't believe it!  I have been very reflective lately on what was hapening in my life a year ago.  Hopeful, but uncertain.  Scared, but excited.  I had no idea what to expect and I as far as I am concerned, I have exceeded my own expectations.

I guess I can consider myself in the maintenance phase of life.  That to me is even more scary than the surgery itself.  I would still like to lose 5 more lbs just to give myself a little wiggle room and to be a normal BMI.  Right now I am right on the border of overweight and normal weight.  I've never really paid attention to that stupid BMI chart, but now that I am so close I guess I guess it means more to me.

93 pounds down is a dream to me.  Now I must work hard to keep them off:-)

Saturday, February 4, 2012

Oatmeal Cups

I like oatmeal just fine.  I just don't like to go to all the trouble to make it just for me.  No one else eats it.  So when a friend passed on this recipe I jumped right on it.  They really are very good! And they don't have any flour or sugar!

3 mashed bananas (the riper, the better)
1 cup of milk (whatever kind, almond, skim, soy coconut)
2 eggs or 1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce
3 cups old fashioned oats (I used quick cooking)
1 tsp vanilla
3 tbsp mini chocolate chips (I used more)

Options:  a few generous squirts of honey can be added, also any berry.  I tried blueberries while we were on our fast and they were good.

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.  Mix all of the above ingredients, except the chocolate chips.  Let sit while you prep your muffin tin.  Spray tin or liners.  Stir in chocolate chips.  Divide mixture into cups, fill almost to full, as they don't rise too much.  Bake 20 min or until lightly browned and firm.  Let cool completely before removing.  They will stick, unless they are cool.  Store in refridgerator.

Friday, January 27, 2012

I'm Alive and Kickin

Goodness it's been so long since I have written!  Rest assure, all two of you readers :-), I am well.  I had to take some time off.  I needed a little break from blogging and even reading blogs for awhile.  I had been so consumed with my WLS and everything to do with it, that I needed some time off from all of it.  Not actually losing the weight, just everything else that comes along with it.  It suddenly just became a part of my everyday life.  A lifestyle, I guess.

I did want to give a few updates though.  As of today I have lost 90lbs!!!  Yes, that was a 9 and a 0.  I am currently 3lbs away from goal.  When I say that, I just can't even believe it.  I would go out on a limb and say that if I didn't lose another pound I would be happy, but that's not how I work.  To be 3 lbs away and not get there would drive me crazy.  So I am going to work at getting those last 3 off.

Some obervations:  5 lbs does make a difference!  I have lost 6 1/2 lbs since Christmas, this was due in part (well pretty much souley) on the fact that our church has been doing the Daniel Fast for the last 19 days.  I did have to add protein, but I pretty much followed it and lost 6.5 lbs.  I have a picture of myself wearing a particular Dallas Cowboys shirt before Christmas.  I like the way the shirt looked on me but I could see a little bit of tummy.  I am probably the only who saw it, but I did see it.  Anyhoo, I tried the shirt on a couple of days ago and I couldn't see any signs of the tummy.  I thought well I'm only 5-6 lbs smaller how could that be?  Well it does make a huge difference.  I guess when you are 93 lbs overweight 5 lbs doesn't really matter, but now it really does.  Good motivation for not gaining.  Also 5  lbs means the difference between having a chest (you know what I am talking about) and not having a chest.  All of the sudden I am the latter.  Boo!!!!

Even though I have lost 90 lbs I still get an overwhelming fear of "what if they don't fit" everytime I put on a pair of pants.  It's hard to explain, but it's a very deep fear.  Something I will have to work through.

The further away from the bad foods (soda in particular) I get, the less I want it.  I think it is because I allowed myself to have a bite or two of the bad foods on occasion along the way.  I decided I should allow myself a couple of bites of something I really wanted throughout because if I didn't, I saw myself binging on those things later on down the road. Now, a bit or two satisfies me and sometimes doesn't even taste good.   I don't know if that makes any sense, but I believe that's what has helped me.  But I never, ever drank a soda.  I just have to look at soda like a drug to me.  I can't ever go back or I will never stop. 

A lot of my "weight emotions" did not disappear with those 90 lbs that I have lost.  There are still some deep down that have yet to be dealt with.  Those feelings of I can't believe anyone ever saw me looking that way have surfaced and now they must be dealt with.  I am relying on God to help me with this one.

Some Milestones:  I got a wild hair one day and decided to try on my wedding dress.  I am sure you are dying to know if it fit.  YES!  IT FIT!!!!!  Just when I thought I couldn't be any happier, I tried on the dress I wore to my husband's high school prom and IT FIT TOO!!!!  I was the happiest girl in the world that day.  To be able to say that my wedding dress still fits is so wonderful!!!.

I thought getting into a size 12 was wonderful!  I really can't believe how wonderful it feels to wear a size 10.  My size 12 were getting too big, but I didn't want to even consider trying on a size 10, for fear of them not fitting (see 2 paragraphs above for explanation) and then those old feelings of despair returning.  I know, I should never be in despair when I am a size 12, but those old emotions are still being dealt with.  For some reason or another I happened to try on a pair of size 10 jeans that I have been holding onto for about 8 years (no exaggeration) and they fit the way jeans should fit.  And then a very dear friend brought me about 10 pair of pants and all but two of them were a size 10 and they fit too.  The 12s were too big.  So I guess I can say I am a 10.

I actually looked forward to having my picture made.  The holidays are generally a picture crazy time.  This year we had someone come out and take pics of my husbands side of the family during Thanksgiving and then at Christmas we had my side wanting to take family pics too.  This is the first time I can actually remember being excited about it.  I looked forward to looking at them.  A picture does not lie!  You can really see what you look like and compare your former body to your current body and see the full truth.  I actually liked what I saw :-)

While walking through Target today I noticed all of the swimsuits they had out already.  I thought to myself "I can't believe it's already almost swimsuit season" and then I noticed I didn't get that sick, nauseated feeling that usually accompanies the word swimsuit. I actually thought I might buy myself a new one this year.  That to me was a huge milestone.

Well, thats all for now because I am in a hurry and don't have time to think about any more.  I really hope to continue to update more regularly now, but I can't make any promises.  All of this may look like a jumbled mess, but these are my random thoughts and feelings right now, and I don't have time to spell and grammar check :-)  I hope you all have a very wonderful weekend.  Thanks for reading!!!!

And here are a couple of the pics I really like :-)

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

I Did It Again

I went on vacation and lost weight!  Again!!!  Who does that?!?!?  People who have sleeves do :-)  We had a wonderful vacation.  The best one by far.  Being 57.5 lbs lighter makes vacation better.  We went to Denver to visit my sister and brother-in-law and had a blast.  Brooks & I got to sneak away one night and drive to Estes Park to spend the night while my sis and bro in law watched the girls.  We had so much fun!  On top of spending the night in Estes Park we shopped, went to a Rockies game and ate some really good food.  All while losing 3.5 lbs.  The other really great thing is that we took some really good family pictures.  Pictures I wasn't embarrassed to be in.  You never really know how much weight you've lost until you see yourself in pictures.  I was pleasantly surprised by what I saw.  Thought I'd share just a few :-)

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Busy Summer and NSV's

It has been a very busy summer and I guess my blogs are what suffers the most.  I have been on the go so much.  My girls and I took a trip to my parents, then we all went to my in-laws and next the big trip to my sisters.  I also painted my dining room and 1/2 bath.  And on top of all that I have had all my other usual stuff.  Needless to say there hasn't been much time to blog.

I do have a few NSV's to share though: 

I lost a total of 5 lbs during both of my trips (2 at my parents and 3 at my in-laws).  I have never in my life gone on a trip and actually lost weight!  I was in a very frustrating stall when I left for my 1st trip so I didn't have any expectations of losing weight, especially while visiting my mom and dad.  My mom cooks very fairly healthy, but when I visit my hometown I am always drawn to visit all of my favorite restaraunts (Pampa does have some relaly good places to eat).  But another NSV was not visiting those places and gorging myself on really tasty, but bad for me food :-)  And my reward a 2 lb loss.

While at my in-laws, I not only lost 3 lbs, but I stayed away from the brownies, pie and chocolate!!!!  That in itself is a minor-modern day miracle. We had some really good food and I did have some chips and dip but I guess it didn't matter because when I stepped on the scales on Tuesday morning I had lost 3 lbs.  I weighed myself Friday morning before we left so I would know if I gained or lost so I knew what I weighed before I left.   (I weigh myself everyday.)

We were invited to go swimming Sunday evening and I actually swam.  I had a really old swimsuit and a brand new swim skirt that I had never worn.  So I threw those on, unsure if I would go through with it but wanted to be prepared just in case I got a wild hair.  All the way there I had serious swimsuit anxiety and almost chickened out.  I am really happy with my top half, but my bottom half (i.e. my thighs) need a lot of work.  But I decided why not? If I wait until I look perfect I will never step foot in a swimming pool again.  So I did it.  And I had a lot of fun.  I got to swim with my girls, one of my goals!!!  Because I enjoyed swimming so much I decided I would go buy myself a new swim top to go with my swim skirt to wear on vacation.  Yes, I actually bought myself a new swimsuit.  Another modern-day miracle :-)

The biggest NSV of all - I have been able to keep up with all my busyness.  Before I would've been soooo tired and not be able to do 1/2 the stuff I have been able to do.  I am tired but I think it's a normal tired.  A"I have been extremely busy, therefore I am tired" kind of tired.  I have been sleeping very well since surgery.  I have a lot of energy during the day but when it's time for bed get me there quickly.

I probably have a few more to share but I must go for now.  Have a wonderful week!!!!

PS - Still not happy with my blog layout so next time you visit there may another new one.