As of this morning I can't report a loss :-( But I won't report a gain either :-) My body is in another stall, due to circumstances I can't control. Enough said about that....
Yesterday I spent most of the day getting rid of clutter. I can't stand all the stuff!!! I guess with a 40lb weight loss comes the need toss out the junk in every area of my life, not just the weight. I was able to pull out about 30 or so tops and about 5 pair of pants from my closet and drawers that were way too big. Boy howdy did that feel so good!!! But the greatest thing was that I cleaned and cleaned most of the day and had the energy to do it! I was very tired at the end of the day, but I couldn't believe how I kept going and going. It was truly amazing to me. When you have spent day after day with 40 extra pounds strapped to you it starts to take a toll on you. You just can't do the things that you know you need to do. I can't wait to see how it feels with another 40 lbs gone!!!
Today I continue my quest to de-clutter my life. I have decided to just take it room by room and day by day. Maybe I will come up with enough stuff to have a garage sale in the fall, when it cools off.
BTW - Did any of you watch Extreme Makeover - Weight Loss Edition? I did and was so inspired by it! That will be my new summer show, along with So You Think You Can Dance :-)
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Denial
Denial is hard to deny these days. For so long I lived in a constant state of denial. I never saw myself as "morbidly obese", as the BMI chart categorized me (BMI charts (rolling my eyes)). I mean I knew I needed to lose some weight but never realized just how much, until now.
Now that I have lost 40 lbs I look back and see how much I was in denial. It really makes me sad that I didn't take responsibility sooner. I so wish I would've made this decision much earlier in life, but I keep reminding myself it's all in God's timing :-)
I can't wait to see this journey on the other side and no longer have my weight as a constant companion.....
Now that I have lost 40 lbs I look back and see how much I was in denial. It really makes me sad that I didn't take responsibility sooner. I so wish I would've made this decision much earlier in life, but I keep reminding myself it's all in God's timing :-)
I can't wait to see this journey on the other side and no longer have my weight as a constant companion.....
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
40 Lbs Gone ~ Forever
This morning I hit the 40lbs gone milestone!!! After having so many ups and downs last week I really can't believe I made it. I've lost 4 lbs since Monday. So exciting!!! I haven't weighed this in alomost 5 years!
I've been thinking about what losing 40lbs must feel like to my body. It's like carrying around 4 10lb bags of potatoes. No wonder I felt so bad all the time. Of course it's distributed differently but 40lbs is 40lbs no matter how you distribute it. Crazy to think I had been carrying around 4 bags of potatoes all that time.
I am not sure what to reward myself with today. It won't be a big reward, as I have reserved those for 50lbs and when I reach my ultimate goal. But I think I deserve a little something today. Any suggestions?
I've been thinking about what losing 40lbs must feel like to my body. It's like carrying around 4 10lb bags of potatoes. No wonder I felt so bad all the time. Of course it's distributed differently but 40lbs is 40lbs no matter how you distribute it. Crazy to think I had been carrying around 4 bags of potatoes all that time.
I am not sure what to reward myself with today. It won't be a big reward, as I have reserved those for 50lbs and when I reach my ultimate goal. But I think I deserve a little something today. Any suggestions?
Monday, May 23, 2011
Contentment
I finally finished reading Reshaping It All! What a great book!!! If you grew up in the 80's and 90's you may be familiar with Candace Cameron Bure. She was DJ Tanner on Full House. She has written a book talking about her weight struggles and how she overcame them spiritually and physically. It's always so exciting to hear stories from actors and actresses about the work God has done in their lives. Something you don't get to hear from Hollywood very often.
Throughout the entire book she talks about her struggles with food, binging and bulimia and how with God's strength and grace she overcame that. Now she uses her testimony to speak to thousands of people everywhere. I could relate to so much of what she talked about. How she used food as a comfort from a very young age and that her life revolved around food for many years.
There was something in particular that hit home with me. She wrote a whole chapter on contentment. Contentment is not necessarily a word I jump for joy about when I hear it. We are supposed to be content in whatever state we are in, the Bible instructs us on that. She spun contentment, or lack thereof, in a whole new way that I had never even once thought about. Being content with what God has given us, husband, children, house, car, clothes, stuff, etc.... is a no-brainer. But being content with eating right and living a healthy lifestyle is not something I ever thought of in terms of being content.
Can you name the #1 reason most people won't eat healthy? I bet if they took a poll the answer would be because it doesn't taste good (although many healthy foods are indeed quite good). Candace writes in her book "But I think we all have to come to terms with the fact that first and foremost, food is fuel for our bodies. Let's get the entertainment aspect of it out of our heads for a minute and realize that it doesn't have to be a 24-7 buffet." She goes on to write "A content person will be just as happy to eat an entree in a restaurant as she will a salad on the go." That really hit home with me.
Let me just say that I am not at all against eating out, I still love eating out, but I don't want to find my contentment in it. There have been times when I wasn't content with eating leftovers or a sandwich so I ran to the nearest drive-thru because it was convenient and I felt like I was getting something special by eating out. Many times I have been discontent with how my day was going so I drove myself to Sonic to get a Dr. Pepper because it has been "one of those days" and I "needed" it. There have been times when I wanted to eat out because all our friends were eating out and I didn't want to be left out. I wasn't content with going home and having a quiet evening with my family. And when I did eat out I wasn't content with ordering a salad or a smaller portion. I felt the need to order greasy, fried stuff, because it was a "treat" afterall.
Before WLS food was a treat, it was entertainment and on some days, it was my world. Instead of finding contentment in God, I ran to food. I wasn't content with who I was in Him, I wasn't content with what I was doing or what was going on. No matter how bad I thought things were, food always made me happy. I still stuggle with head hunger and there are some days that I am not content with eating cottage cheese and refried beans. But I can say about 80% of the time I eat because I need the protein or I am feeling a little weak, not because I need comfort.
It will always be an on-going struggle with me, but I pray and believe that it will get easier and easier. Candace writes, "With a bit of practice and good attitude, contentment is something we can all train ourselves to accept. Approaching weight loss with a sense of contentment will bring you a lot further than a sense of entitlement ever will." So very true! Contentment is vital in every area of life and now I see that it is vital in living a healthy life.
PS ~ I highly recommend reading Reshaping It All if you have ever struggled with food issues. It will speak to you in many ways!
Throughout the entire book she talks about her struggles with food, binging and bulimia and how with God's strength and grace she overcame that. Now she uses her testimony to speak to thousands of people everywhere. I could relate to so much of what she talked about. How she used food as a comfort from a very young age and that her life revolved around food for many years.
There was something in particular that hit home with me. She wrote a whole chapter on contentment. Contentment is not necessarily a word I jump for joy about when I hear it. We are supposed to be content in whatever state we are in, the Bible instructs us on that. She spun contentment, or lack thereof, in a whole new way that I had never even once thought about. Being content with what God has given us, husband, children, house, car, clothes, stuff, etc.... is a no-brainer. But being content with eating right and living a healthy lifestyle is not something I ever thought of in terms of being content.
Can you name the #1 reason most people won't eat healthy? I bet if they took a poll the answer would be because it doesn't taste good (although many healthy foods are indeed quite good). Candace writes in her book "But I think we all have to come to terms with the fact that first and foremost, food is fuel for our bodies. Let's get the entertainment aspect of it out of our heads for a minute and realize that it doesn't have to be a 24-7 buffet." She goes on to write "A content person will be just as happy to eat an entree in a restaurant as she will a salad on the go." That really hit home with me.
Let me just say that I am not at all against eating out, I still love eating out, but I don't want to find my contentment in it. There have been times when I wasn't content with eating leftovers or a sandwich so I ran to the nearest drive-thru because it was convenient and I felt like I was getting something special by eating out. Many times I have been discontent with how my day was going so I drove myself to Sonic to get a Dr. Pepper because it has been "one of those days" and I "needed" it. There have been times when I wanted to eat out because all our friends were eating out and I didn't want to be left out. I wasn't content with going home and having a quiet evening with my family. And when I did eat out I wasn't content with ordering a salad or a smaller portion. I felt the need to order greasy, fried stuff, because it was a "treat" afterall.
Before WLS food was a treat, it was entertainment and on some days, it was my world. Instead of finding contentment in God, I ran to food. I wasn't content with who I was in Him, I wasn't content with what I was doing or what was going on. No matter how bad I thought things were, food always made me happy. I still stuggle with head hunger and there are some days that I am not content with eating cottage cheese and refried beans. But I can say about 80% of the time I eat because I need the protein or I am feeling a little weak, not because I need comfort.
It will always be an on-going struggle with me, but I pray and believe that it will get easier and easier. Candace writes, "With a bit of practice and good attitude, contentment is something we can all train ourselves to accept. Approaching weight loss with a sense of contentment will bring you a lot further than a sense of entitlement ever will." So very true! Contentment is vital in every area of life and now I see that it is vital in living a healthy life.
PS ~ I highly recommend reading Reshaping It All if you have ever struggled with food issues. It will speak to you in many ways!
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Ups & Downs
This week has been so crazy!!! Me & my husband celebrated our 10th anniversary, my daughter graduated pre-school and my parents were here to celebrate with us. I really haven't had much time to blog anything this week. Tuesday morning I had a post all typed and out and ready and I hit publish post and it disappeared :-( I didn't have time to go back and re-type or even investigate what happened, so I gave up.
Throughout this week I have had so many up and downs on the scale. It's been very weird! When I get on the scale and there is a 1lb gain it stirs up a lot of emotions. I get this notion that the weight loss is over and I am going to gain it all back. I know that's not true, but when you live in that state for so long it's hard to break away from those thoughts.
I know my weight loss is not over and I know because of my hectic schedule this week I probably didn't get enough protein or water, as hard as I tried, and that probably contributed to water retention. This week my focus will be on water and protein. I really don't feel like I got off track eating wise. I still can't eat very much at a time, but I eat 5-6 times a day. People say that's really the best way to eat, several small meals throughout the day. It's does get a little frustrating when you want to eat more of your meal and can't but I wouldn't trade it for anything.
As of yesterday I have lost 37.5lbs. I am counting yesterdays because it was the lowest ;-) Hopefully I will be able to report that the scale has leveled off and on the downward spiral again on the next post. I also hope to post some more recipes very soon too!
PS ~ Go Mavs!!! I was able to go buy myself a Dallas Mavericks shirt. I didn't have a Mavs shirt because I could never find one that fit me well. I would have to get an X-large to fit over my hips and it would fall to my knees and elbows because it was too long, but I couldn't get a smaller size because it wouldn't fit everywhere else. Thursday I went to Academy and bought a women's fit large (not XL) and it fit almost perfect. It was actually a little big in the waist area, but fit perfect everywhere else. Now I can support my team with a t-shirt. Silly I know, but I am thinking I am now going to be able to buy a t-shirt to support all my teams now. So exciting!!!!!
Throughout this week I have had so many up and downs on the scale. It's been very weird! When I get on the scale and there is a 1lb gain it stirs up a lot of emotions. I get this notion that the weight loss is over and I am going to gain it all back. I know that's not true, but when you live in that state for so long it's hard to break away from those thoughts.
I know my weight loss is not over and I know because of my hectic schedule this week I probably didn't get enough protein or water, as hard as I tried, and that probably contributed to water retention. This week my focus will be on water and protein. I really don't feel like I got off track eating wise. I still can't eat very much at a time, but I eat 5-6 times a day. People say that's really the best way to eat, several small meals throughout the day. It's does get a little frustrating when you want to eat more of your meal and can't but I wouldn't trade it for anything.
As of yesterday I have lost 37.5lbs. I am counting yesterdays because it was the lowest ;-) Hopefully I will be able to report that the scale has leveled off and on the downward spiral again on the next post. I also hope to post some more recipes very soon too!
PS ~ Go Mavs!!! I was able to go buy myself a Dallas Mavericks shirt. I didn't have a Mavs shirt because I could never find one that fit me well. I would have to get an X-large to fit over my hips and it would fall to my knees and elbows because it was too long, but I couldn't get a smaller size because it wouldn't fit everywhere else. Thursday I went to Academy and bought a women's fit large (not XL) and it fit almost perfect. It was actually a little big in the waist area, but fit perfect everywhere else. Now I can support my team with a t-shirt. Silly I know, but I am thinking I am now going to be able to buy a t-shirt to support all my teams now. So exciting!!!!!
Friday, May 13, 2011
Recipe ~ Turkey Chilli
I love chilli!!! I could eat chili once or twice a week, except for the fact that Brooks wouldn't. I don't know what it is about chilli that I like??? Maybe the spices??? I don't know but I hope you enjoy my healthy chili!
Turkey Chili
1 lb ground turkey
1 onion
1 can diced tomatoes
1 small can tomato sauce
2 cans of beans, any variety you like
3-4 tbsp chilli powder (I like it pretty spicy)
1-2 tsp of cummin
salt, pepper, garlic, paprika to taste
1 cup of water, plus add more until you get the consistency you like
Brown turkey and onions until turkey is cooked through and onion tender. Add all of you spices and one cup of water. Simmer until water evaporates (this makes the meat hold the seasonings and taste more flavorful). Add the rest of the ingredients and simmer 30 min. Add more water if you like a thinner chilli. And If you like it thicker simmer longer :-) Add a sprinkling of cheese and voila, yummy chilli.
Turkey Chili
1 lb ground turkey
1 onion
1 can diced tomatoes
1 small can tomato sauce
2 cans of beans, any variety you like
3-4 tbsp chilli powder (I like it pretty spicy)
1-2 tsp of cummin
salt, pepper, garlic, paprika to taste
1 cup of water, plus add more until you get the consistency you like
Brown turkey and onions until turkey is cooked through and onion tender. Add all of you spices and one cup of water. Simmer until water evaporates (this makes the meat hold the seasonings and taste more flavorful). Add the rest of the ingredients and simmer 30 min. Add more water if you like a thinner chilli. And If you like it thicker simmer longer :-) Add a sprinkling of cheese and voila, yummy chilli.
Monday, May 9, 2011
Week 6 Has Come and Gone
Let me start by saying how wonderful the Flavour Sisterhhod conference was. What an unbelievable group of ladies that poured into the lives of woman from every background. Simply amazing!
This was my first outing with people who didn't know about my surgery. Most everyone did but there were a few that didn't. We ate most meals out so I wasn't sure if anyone would notice that ate so little or if I could hide the fact that I could only eat like 5 bites of whatever I was eating. My friend Tiffany agreed to split breakfast and lunch with me and dinner was easy because everyone just ate chips, salsa, queso and guacamole. I ordered one tamale, as I didn't know how just chips would settle, and ate about 3/4 of it and about 3 chips. The other times we met at Starbucks and I ordered coffee. I don't think anyone noticed how little I ate or they just didn't say anything. This weekend was a non-scale victory for me. Before surgery I would have probably not wanted to split anything with anyone, I would have gorged myself on chips and queso, drank sodas and bought sweet treats while I was shopping. I didn't. And you know what I didn't really miss them at all. That made me very happy!!!!
Last Thursday I went to the Dr. for a checkup and they cleared me to workout, yeah and nay ;-) and said they didn't want to see me until September. They also said my weightloss is ahead of schedule :-) I saw the PA and she told me to expect to lose 10lbs a month from here on out. I am honestly hoping for a little more than that, but hey I will definately take 10lbs a month.
I finally reached my 30lbs lost Thursday and managed to lose 2 more lbs. Super duper happy!!! I should never settle on a reward until I get there because I have changed my mind so many times. While I was at the conference I bought myself a 30lbs lost rewards. It was not what I thought it would be. They were selling Flavour cookbooks and the proceeds went towards their many missions and since I am such a sucker for cookbooks I bought one. This is no ordinary cookbook though. It's like a coffee table book with many delicious recipes and beautiful pictures scattered throughout. I had to have one. They were a little expensive so I decided since I really wanted one I would make this my reward.
This week I plan on stepping up my workouts. So many mixed feelings about that! Exercising has never been something I liked, but my energy is up and I am seeing results so it makes me want to step it up a little bit. Wish me luck as I tackle working out.
This was my first outing with people who didn't know about my surgery. Most everyone did but there were a few that didn't. We ate most meals out so I wasn't sure if anyone would notice that ate so little or if I could hide the fact that I could only eat like 5 bites of whatever I was eating. My friend Tiffany agreed to split breakfast and lunch with me and dinner was easy because everyone just ate chips, salsa, queso and guacamole. I ordered one tamale, as I didn't know how just chips would settle, and ate about 3/4 of it and about 3 chips. The other times we met at Starbucks and I ordered coffee. I don't think anyone noticed how little I ate or they just didn't say anything. This weekend was a non-scale victory for me. Before surgery I would have probably not wanted to split anything with anyone, I would have gorged myself on chips and queso, drank sodas and bought sweet treats while I was shopping. I didn't. And you know what I didn't really miss them at all. That made me very happy!!!!
Last Thursday I went to the Dr. for a checkup and they cleared me to workout, yeah and nay ;-) and said they didn't want to see me until September. They also said my weightloss is ahead of schedule :-) I saw the PA and she told me to expect to lose 10lbs a month from here on out. I am honestly hoping for a little more than that, but hey I will definately take 10lbs a month.
I finally reached my 30lbs lost Thursday and managed to lose 2 more lbs. Super duper happy!!! I should never settle on a reward until I get there because I have changed my mind so many times. While I was at the conference I bought myself a 30lbs lost rewards. It was not what I thought it would be. They were selling Flavour cookbooks and the proceeds went towards their many missions and since I am such a sucker for cookbooks I bought one. This is no ordinary cookbook though. It's like a coffee table book with many delicious recipes and beautiful pictures scattered throughout. I had to have one. They were a little expensive so I decided since I really wanted one I would make this my reward.
This week I plan on stepping up my workouts. So many mixed feelings about that! Exercising has never been something I liked, but my energy is up and I am seeing results so it makes me want to step it up a little bit. Wish me luck as I tackle working out.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Almost To My Goal
I'm half a pound away from my first goal! It's exciting and frustrating at the same time. So close but half a pound away. I can finally start regular foods today, but I am not sure how ready I am for that. It will take some time, I am sure, to get used to eating regular food again. Still no bread, rice or noodles, as it expands and will expand my stomach and make me miserable. I really don't miss it, so I am not sure when or if I will go back to eating any of that stuff. It's almost impossible to say never again, but the longer I stay away the easier it gets. I really don't want to start a carb crazy binge so staying away is the best thing for me right now.
People are really starting to notice and my clothes fit better and better everyday. Which makes everything worth it. The most important thing though is I already am feeling better and better. My energy is definately up, although once my head hits the pillow at night I am out. I went swimming for the first time in so very long. We had baptisms at church and I took the plunge and went for it. It was an easy setting because almost everyone was wearing a t-shirt and shorts over their swimsuits so I didn't feel so out of place wearing mine. I really enjoyed it and really felt like I was doing something that my kids had been wanting me to do for so long. Things are going swimmingly (pun intended) ;-)
I am attending a ladies conference with some girls from church this Thursday, Friday and Saturday. I am really looking forward to it! I anticipate great things on the other side of it. So I will probably be absent the rest of the week! Enjoy your day!
People are really starting to notice and my clothes fit better and better everyday. Which makes everything worth it. The most important thing though is I already am feeling better and better. My energy is definately up, although once my head hits the pillow at night I am out. I went swimming for the first time in so very long. We had baptisms at church and I took the plunge and went for it. It was an easy setting because almost everyone was wearing a t-shirt and shorts over their swimsuits so I didn't feel so out of place wearing mine. I really enjoyed it and really felt like I was doing something that my kids had been wanting me to do for so long. Things are going swimmingly (pun intended) ;-)
I am attending a ladies conference with some girls from church this Thursday, Friday and Saturday. I am really looking forward to it! I anticipate great things on the other side of it. So I will probably be absent the rest of the week! Enjoy your day!
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